An Introvert Reflects on his First Presentation

An Introvert Reflects on his First Presentation

“You’re all set to go up in twenty minutes,” the organizer tells me. I quickly flash to myself in front of hundreds of people – frozen, and consumed by anxiety – having completely forgotten what I’m supposed to speak about next. Will that actually happen? Wait a minute; will I make it happen by worrying about it right now? “Hey,” I silently scream to myself. “Stop freaking out!”

As a bit of a self-diagnosed introvert, this was my experience over the weekend, as I prepared for my first presentation at WordCamp Kansas City. So the question is: if the thought of speaking for an hour in front of hundreds of people terrifies you, what’s the solution? Do you accept your emotional limitations, or do you instead force yourself into uncomfortable situations?

I’m willing to wager that, in general, we web developers suffer somewhat when it comes to – ya know – interacting with the outside world. Now, that doesn’t mean we spend our days curled up in the corner, typing “My Precious” into our laptops over and over. We’re not that bad; but, nonetheless, many of us may have chosen this profession because it allows for some form of escape from the real world. Again, I’m stereotyping here, but there’s certainly a reason why it’s a stereotype to begin with!

As we grow, we learn to accept our limitations. During our younger years, we may attempt to become someone we’re not. Who hasn’t tried on a handful of hats in their years?

But, invariably, we return to our core at some point in our 20s. At my core, whether I like it or not, I’m a shy guy (not to be confused with this shy guy). It’s not a trait that I’m particularly proud of, and it makes the process of mingling at parties infinitely more difficult.

As an example, my step father is the type of person who can approach a complete stranger, and find himself still chatting with them twenty minutes later. Sadly, potentially like yourself, this is an ability that I do not possess – try as I may. I’m a good actor, but, still, I’ve been known to answer phones that never rang – all in an attempt to get out of innocuous discussions. Feel free to use the words introvert, anti-social, “that guy who doesn’t talk much,” I.T. guy — whatever works for you. They’re, more often than not, one in the same.

But as we so often do, we come to accept ourselves for who we are. I’m a nice person; I just need to get to know you well before I can genuinely relax and let my guard down. I prefer 2-3 very close friends, as opposed to 50 semi-friends. Are you the same? If so, you’re going to have trouble attending or speaking at web development conferences — particularly if traveling alone, like I found myself doing this weekend. Even the thought of hundreds of people staring at you on stage frightens me!

What’s the Solution?

The best we can do is force ourselves into uncomfortable situations.

When it’s a proven fact that salary and job promotions are linked to one’s people skills, what’s the solution for the introverted among us? Must we accept our fate? Are we destined to make less than the outgoing guy in the office who is far less productive?

Well what do I know? I’m just a guy. But, in my 2.5 decades, I’ve learned something: people simply don’t change. The best we can do is force ourselves into uncomfortable situations as often as possible. If you find yourself bee-lining for the door when an uncomfortable situation arises, the best course of action is to resist that urge as much as possible, regardless of what your brain may tell you. Remember, in social situations, your brain is the problem. Don’t trust it!

So, you’ve followed this advice, and, against your better judgment, you’ve taken the plunge and signed up to speak at a web development conference. How do you keep yourself from being overcome by fear?


Lessen the Anxiety

For the more anxious among you, there are a variety of things that will help mitigate the level of nervousness you feel leading up to your speech.

  1. Valerian Root – Available in any drug store, and “promotes relaxation and tranquil rest.”
  2. Tylenol – Even if you don’t have a headache, a Tylenol or Aspirin will thin your blood and provide a modest level of relief.
  3. Whiskey – No; don’t get drunk before your presentation. That’s not a good idea! But, that said, there’s no denying that a little Jack mixed in with your coke will help alleviate that anxiety “rock” which rests in your stomach. Please be responsible if you choose this route.
  4. Shake it Out – Ten minutes before your presentation, consider excusing yourself to a private place, where you can release as much built up energy and anxiety as possible. Shake your hands rapidly, run in place, give yourself a pep talk. All of this helps! Just make sure nobody sees you. :)

Preparation, Preparation, Preparation

It’s natural for any presenter to worry that he’ll forget his lines.

It’s natural for any presenter to imagine himself forgetting his lines. This fear will remain with you up until those final moments of your speech. The only cure – or prevention – is to prepare like crazy. When nobody else is around, practice your speech in front of your bathroom mirror. A word of caution when doing this, though: ensure that no one else is around! Otherwise, you will endure countless levels of ridicule from family members. Send them out for ice cream, and give the mirror the best you’ve got. Once you’ve finished, start over and do it again.

If you’d prefer to write and memorize your script, that’s okay too, just as long as you realize that, come speech day, you’ll undoubtedly forget many of those lines. Perhaps it’s better to write your script, and then convert it to bullet points when you create your presentation slides. In addition to providing the audience with memorable notes on your speech, your slides can also be used as mental reminders and triggers for yourself. Further, a bonus to this method is that your speech won’t feel as memorized to the audience. A bit of spontaneity is a good thing! If you find yourself going on a tangent during your talk, that’s perfectly okay (in moderation)!


Put on a Mask

Be the person that you wish you could be.

No, no – I’m not suggesting that you literally wear an “Eyes Wide Shut“-like mask during your talk. That would just be…weird. Instead, I’m referring to the way you perceive yourself. Presumably, no one at this conference knows who you are. That means, for one hour, you get to be a kid again! Choose a hat…any hat! Be the person that you wish you could be. Want to be more outgoing on stage? Be an actor, animate yourself, and channel that type of person. All that matters is getting through the presentation, having done as excellent a job as possible. If you need to wear an invisible mask to get it done, then by all means, do!


Don’t Be a Stick

Regardless of how interesting the topic is, no one can deny that it’s difficult to sit and listen to another person speak for an hour. We’re not built that way. In fact, I once read that we humans have trouble retaining focus for any period of time longer than fifteen minutes. As a speaker, though, you make things infinitely worse when you come across as a stick, for lack of better words. As Brian Flannigan’s ex-professor would say, “Speak up; let the class hear you!” Nobody wants to listen to a dull monotoned speech for an hour. Here’s some simple techniques that I found to be helpful when creating a more dynamic presentation.

  • Smile, fool!
  • Adjust your tone of voice from time to time.
  • Don’t stand in the same position for your entire presentation. Walk around — feel the space, as some might say.
  • Make jokes. Even if people don’t appreciate your humor (which they often don’t, as I found with my constant Mr. T references), they at least appreciate that you tried. Better yet, the biggest laughs tend to come when you least expect them.
  • Laugh at yourself. You’re not giving a speech to the world. If you stumble on your words, lose your place, or screw up a slide, laugh at yourself on stage. Nobody expects you to be flawless. Flawless is boring.
  • Fluctuate your pacing. Speak slowly during some portions of your presentation. At other points, pick up the speed a bit.
  • If you have real world examples of your speaking points, take a break and reveal them to the audience. People enjoy these sorts of things.
  • Engage the audience. Ask them questions. Allow them to interject with their own thoughts, clarifications, and questions during your speech. This might throw you off, but it allows for a more dynamic presentation.
  • Drink some water, for goodness sake! I personally fall into that group of people who views any period of silence as tense silence. On stage, ten seconds of silence feels like an eternity…but it’s not. The audience barely notices. So, when you need a moment to gather your thoughts, relax, take a drink of water, and continue on.

Conclusion

Please keep in mind that I’m quite possibly the last person who should offer speaking advice. I am clearly a novice! That said, however, the ideas and techniques listed above will hopefully encourage the fearful among you to dive in and test your limitations. When applied to my own first presentation, I didn’t crash and burn. And well…that’s success for an introvert like me!

Note: Want to add some source code? Type <pre><code> before it and </code></pre> after it. Find out more
  • http://subbob.posterous.com Bob King

    Jeff – I doubt anyone in that room would have labeled you an “introvert” had you not told us. You obviously have had a lot of experience overcoming your anxiety as I didn’t see ANY during your presentation.

    Including doses of humor (most of which we got…), good pacing, variance of tone and inflection and lots of energy, you held the full attention of the entire room.

    All that said, the above advice must be truly great, as it obviously has worked for you!

    Bob (@subbob)

    P.S. Thanks for the t-shirt!

    • http://www.jeffrey-way.com Jeffrey Way
      Author

      Thanks, Bob. That’s very nice of you. No – I’m not an extreme introvert, but it feels that way every once in a while. :) I’m also a good actor.

  • Alistair

    Jeffrey,

    Thanks for the insight, haven’t given many talks in my professional career more so 1 to 1 tuition in regards to small amounts I know this far. However all to aware of the difficulties faced in public speaking. Here we have the local business group, where you go along and discuss with others, mingle, and listen to well versed public speakers. You then have an opportunity to go up and pitch your business, very much a voluntary thing.

    Just doing positively makes you feel good afterwords, plus gives you something to reflect upon afterwards. It’s the only way for progress, if you want to progress going out the zone is a must.

    Thanks for the techniques, we all have our own ways. But unlike you in this case it’s my heart that tells me to run, but cognitive thinking or some herbal tea helps overcome this.

    Best regards dude, always enjoying your writings.

  • techeese

    Thanks jeffrey this was a very good read for self improvement from being an introvert to a lesser introvert. :(

  • http://newarts.at Drazen Mokic

    Was the presentation recorded?

  • Nico

    Jeffrey, you are the man :D

  • http://www.codstudios.com Apoorv Vaidya

    Introvert =/= fear of public speaking. Introversion means you don’t need the company of others at all times to enjoy yourself.

    But glad to hear you got through it, and did a great job!

  • Andrew

    This is an interesting post, as it almost perfectly describes the way I am about public-speaking and communication in general. Good job.

  • J

    So this, Valerian Root stuff, how exactly does it make you feel?

    I’ve been battling with anxiety my entire life and I’d never heard of this.

    • Bryce Pelletier

      @J You likely won’t feel or experience anything. It’s an herbal supplement so it’s a natural method to help reduce anxiety and as such there is little to no risk of any kind of side effect. I say little because who knows if someone could be allergic to it. I mean there are people allergic to wheat (gluten more specifically) for crying out loud.

      All that said there are directions to taking it. I’ve taken it for years and being an ill tempered man it’s helped me minimize the stress and reactions when I have taken it to calm down and or remain calm if I knew I was going into some sort of place that could cause me to become angered.

      All in all it’s not the only herbal that could help reduce stress either, but it is a proven one.

      Cheers

  • http://thedevelopertuts.com Bratu Sebastian

    This post was very interesting. I was hoping to get all sorts of ramblings about anxiety. But it’s not.

    I am also a bit shy when talking to people after sitting about 2-3 days programming and losing contact with the outside world. But then, I made music school and I know how to talk to people.

    A big advice I would give is to not be that focused. The tricky part is to play your part well: If you feel awkward or shy, just try to introduce something interesting in the situation.

    I have been into a couple of weird situations and I was always getting out by saying a joke or making a funny gesture, that will usually redirect all the public’s attention on something else, and you may have time to come back.

    And yes, after a sip of vodka you’ll feel more confident, you just need to know your limits before you even try this in a public speak. ( I wouldn’t drink if I had to make a presentation :)) )

    Thanks for this Jeffrey, that was relaxing to read.

  • Mukarram

    Hey…. Where is the recording – Jeff.
    Please share with us.

  • Brad

    I used to rep for my company and traveled to GM and Ford plants around the US. I was completely at ease with 2-6 people in a room beating me up. Until “that day”. The day I was asked to stand in a GM audit room and state my company’s position on a certain problem to 60+ people who were totally into their jobs, totally unannounced. No private place to get myself together, no flask in my hip pocket. All I could think of was that I was going to pass out before I got to the stage. I have no idea how I got through it, how I did, what I said or even if I was conscious. I was told I did fine. But I share the fear you had and remember it well.

    Glad you made it and can laugh about it once its over. Thats the best anyone can do lol

  • rrjmdpa

    Oh… silly Jeffery… .

  • http://johmanx.com Jan-Marten de Boer

    Thanks a lot for a great article, Jeffrey! This really comes in handy when speaking in front of a crowd, but also helps a lot with my phoning skills. And boy, do they suck! ><

    Your writing is a real pleasure to read and I think I might even look you up to read some more whenever my schedule allows for it ;)

    Cheers

  • http://tommybrunn.com Tommy Brunn

    The “putting on a mask” thing is absolutely invaluable. I’ve never had a problem with public speaking, and that is part of why. Taking acting classes and courses in rhetoric helped, but the realization that I can “put on a mask” was by far the most important thing.

  • mrgstiffler

    The single best way to prepare for a presentation is to become an expert on your topic. The more comfortable you are with the subject material, the more confident you will be during your presentation. I’ve gotten to where I don’t even prepare a script anymore. I study/review/read/re-read/create/re-create absolutely everything I can to prepare, and then I build powerpoint slides with bulletpoint topics. Only 1-4 words or so per bullet. This prevents your audience from paying more attention to your slides than to you. It also keeps you on topic and ensures that you cover everything you need to. An expert on a topic giving an off-the-cuff lecture is WAY more interesting than someone familiar with the topic giving a prepared presentation.

  • http://www.bluelinemedia.co.uk Simon Jackson

    I agree with mrfstiffler, the first part of successfully delivering a presentation is to know your topic inside out. This is even more the case when you are nervous or introverted. The only thing I would add is not to obfuscate your personality too much. There is nothing worse than feeling you are watching a presentation where someone is “ticking the boxes”, throwing in forced jokes etc. Better to be yourself. If you really know a lot about the topic and have an interested audience then you will earn their respect through your words more than your actions. People actually quite empathise and like people who appear shy and humble.

  • Happy

    There’s a difference between introverts and shy people. I can say I’m a big introvert. I never speak unless I have to, but I have no trouble doing so, I could hold seminar whole day long if I wanted to :).

  • Joe

    Some of your advice for public speaking is pretty terrible. I suggest you and anyone else who has problems with public speaking or communicating in general to read ‘Be Heard Now’ by Lee Glickstein.

    As long as you keep putting ‘masks’ on you’ll never be comfortable with yourself in front of others.

    • http://www.jeffrey-way.com Jeffrey Way
      Author

      That may be true for some. But if you’re naturally introverted, you have to approach things from a different angle.

      • Joe

        I was being a bit harsh when I said your advice was ‘terrible’, I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve learnt almost the complete opposite of what you wrote above when it comes to public speaking.

        If it works for you then great, but I do recommend you check out the book ‘Be Heard Now’ if you haven’t already.

        The anxiety comes from thinking you have to ‘peform’. If you let yourself be ‘vulnerable’ and not put any ‘masks’ on then you will -

        1. face up to your biggest fear (showing your real self to all those seemingly scary people)
        2. Realise soon afterwards that it’s absolutely fine, and that people really appreciate it when others are being themselves and not ‘peforming’.

        Putting on a ‘mask’ will work in a kind of cover up way, you might be able to hide those fears and ‘get through’ a presentation but it will just feel like an act, something that helped you ‘survive’ the ordeal.

        Drop the mask and be yourself, be vulnerable in front of all those people, you can start to realise that there is nothing to be scared of.

        (by the way – anxiety and fear are all normal emotions which anyone will have – trying to cover these up or ‘get rid of them’ will make the experience a whole lot worse)

        Anyway, whatever approach you use best of luck to you in your future presentations.

  • http://jacklyncremer.com Jacklyn

    I was too concentrated on learning and trying to absorb everything you were saying to laugh at some of the Mr. T jokes – but you were funny. your presentation was smart. and you answered questions well. Definitely in the top presentations – glad I went – even if I’m not on the theme developer track. Great presentation, hope you enjoyed KC! Take it easy – and keep presenting!

    • http://www.jeffrey-way.com Jeffrey Way
      Author

      Thanks, Jackyln. :) That’s very sweet of you.

      • w1sh

        I balieave in maracles! Since ya came aaalllong. You sexy thang (sexy thang)!

  • http://www.agilecoach.ca Jason Little

    Great post! I would say don’t confuse introverted-ness with ‘shy’. They are 2 different things. Introversion is simply about where you get your energy from. There is a fantastic book called “The Introvert Advantage” which has some great tips for introverts.

    I’m an introvert too, the first major conference I spoke at was at Lean 2011 this year and I was terrified. But in the end, it was what it was and I’m really proud of myself for taking that risk.

  • http://www.hadeninteractive.com Josepha

    I heard nothing but good stuff about you, Mr Way. Thank you, again, for all your hard work and hope you got home safely. :)

    • http://www.jeffrey-way.com Jeffrey Way
      Author

      Thanks, Josepha! You and Jacob did an excellent job organizing everything.

  • waste

    Jeff, please post the record!

  • Kevin

    Hey Jeff,

    I love your contributions to the site and have learned a ton from you, so thanks!

    On that note, I think this is a potentially misleading post. I agree when you say that web designers and developers are more likely to be introverted, but I think it is a bad thing to promote it as a given this is something we are ‘suffering’ from. I think it encourages a victim mindset. This is the sort of article that might influence designers and developers who look up to you to say “Oh, well I’m an introvert and Jeff Way says there’s not much you can intrinsically do about it.” It seems like the beginning of your article paints introversion as something that is clearly worse than being extroverted when you say:

    “Feel free to use the words introvert, anti-social, ‘that guy who doesn’t talk much.’”

    “When it’s a proven fact that salary and job promotions are linked to one’s people skills, what’s the solution for the introverted among us? Must we accept our fate?”

    I think you ARE on the right track when you say that you need to throw yourself into social situations despite the fear – this is how everyone grows socially, even ‘extroverts.’ However I disagree when you say people don’t change. The fact is, people DO change and they change constantly if they are putting themselves in situations that make them slightly uncomfortable. Plenty of people have amazing stories about learning to become better, and even thrive, in social situations.

    I also feel like your prescriptions for lessening the anxiety essentially cover up the growth you can experience by throwing yourself into these situations. Barring #4, all of these prescriptions are a medication of some sort. It seems counterproductive for someone who wants to get better at presenting to medicate as a way to lessen the nerves. I feel that it encourages the view that you are “less than able” to present or perform properly as you are, and you need something additional in order to just make it through the presentation.

    Other than that, your points in the “Put on a Mask” and “Don’t Be a Stick” are great! The fact is this: introverts who have a problem speaking in front of groups of people – I’d venture to say most people have this problem, introverts or not – just need the reference experience to realize that it’s not such a big deal. Mental hacks like you’ve described emulate the experience that you WILL get one day if you keep doing it!

    Best,
    Kevin

  • http://twitter.com/sanketnadhani Sanket Nadhani

    I particularly agree with the Jack part.

    • http://www.jeffrey-way.com Jeffrey Way
      Author

      haha

  • arnold

    like other people said can you share the presentation? , it seems pretty exciting to know.

    • http://www.jeffrey-way.com Jeffrey Way
      Author

      Should be available soon.

  • http://www.sz-media.org Nico

    (I silently scream to myself. “Stop freaking out!” )

    Your inner voice freaked out and screamed to you to stop freaking out :D

  • http://heintzsight.com Matt

    I really appreciate this post Jeff. Next time you’re in KC, look me up!

    Cheers,
    Matt

  • http://datasplash.co.uk Darren Lunn

    Jeff,

    I totally get your karma, ditto with myself.

    The reason for this post is so that you can gauge for yourself just how much you shouldn’t trust your brain – I do the same thing.

    The thing I think you missed is “get feedback” and get it often. Isn’t this what you’re really doing with this post? You just didn’t say it in the post.

    I find asking for feedback is a great conversation saver and a good personal gauge.

    By the way, if your presentation was even 10% of your teaching style in your screencasts, then it was probably excellent. The reality is that it was probably >90% and sublime, because it’s easy to see that you are persistent self-improver.

    Great stuff!

    • http://net.tutsplus.com Jeffrey Way
      Author

      Thanks, Darren!!

  • Jason

    I have a bitchin’ speech impediment and as such I feel somewhat uniquely qualified when it comes to situations like this.

    I choose the development job because i’m pretty clever but more importantly it didn’t involve a great deal of talking, phone work or presentations. Wonderful.

    For me talking in general is battle in itself. Going into a shop to order some food can sometimes lead to minutes at the counter.. which leads to the daily question of ‘is it worth the stress of going into order?’

    Ultimately though, I know the reward far outweigh’s the BS that comes up during delivery. Also… somehow the food tastes sweeter when I have had the guts to hold up a queue of 10 people who stare at me trying to work out if I am a retard or am having some sort of seizure :)

    Anyway.. the point is that it is all about the mind set. If you go into anything thinking that you can’t do it then the chances are you won’t. Instead of focusing on delivery – which actually is never entirely in your hands anyway – think towards the benefit of doing it. The applause from the crowd, the pat on the back from the organiser and most importantly the ego boost of actually doing it.

    I understand nervousness and the fact that everyone has their own crap to deal with but I don’t really get why people without a speech impediment often have so much trouble in these situations. Just have faith in what you are delivering, have faith that crowd will listen and enjoy it.

  • http://www.d2lstudios.com frank

    From a fellow introvert – this really helped.

    We only grow when we’re forced into difficult circumstances. Avoiding difficulties only results in stunted or even reverted personal growth. Keep that up and it won’t be long until you really are in the corner typing “my precious” over and over on your computer (ha!).

  • http://www.logic52.com Shane

    Woah! I read the article before I read the author name, I wouldn’t have guessed you were an introvert. Awesome article. I feel the same on alot of your points. I think the best advice is to ignore what your brain is saying.